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Okay, so I had a difficult childhood. During my early years, my most prized possessions were the Ragedy Ann and Andy dolls my mother had given me. After she had passed away, I looked to the dolls for guidance. I played with them for hours, acting out all sorts of play between them. Sometimes they were king and queen and sometimes they were on a boat or having a picnic, but always I pretended that they were angels from heaven who were playing games together on earth. I was a little kid, and thats how I thought of them.
Looking back now it's almost as though they were sort of avataras to me, though I had no word for it at the time. Later when I became introduced to Krsna consciousness, I kept thinking of Andy when I'd see Lord Jagannathas big eyes and features. I almost feel as though Ragedy Ann and Andy are a representation of Radha and Krsna lila, how simple and sweet they are, but I know it's only because I had such a strong attachment to them back when i really needed a mother. They also gave me something to believe in because in our play they were always helping people, as angels. In a way, I could put these types of loose cotton clothing on Radha and Krsna, although I don't have dieties yet. I know it's silly but I still love Ragedy Ann and Andy.
Looking back now it's almost as though they were sort of avataras to me, though I had no word for it at the time. Later when I became introduced to Krsna consciousness, I kept thinking of Andy when I'd see Lord Jagannathas big eyes and features. I almost feel as though Ragedy Ann and Andy are a representation of Radha and Krsna lila, how simple and sweet they are, but I know it's only because I had such a strong attachment to them back when i really needed a mother. They also gave me something to believe in because in our play they were always helping people, as angels. In a way, I could put these types of loose cotton clothing on Radha and Krsna, although I don't have dieties yet. I know it's silly but I still love Ragedy Ann and Andy.
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Re: The reason I ask...
Thu, February 1, 2007 - 1:20 AMI actually do think of Radha and Krsna as being similar to Ragedy Ann and Andy sometimes. They are like puppets under the spell of Yogamaya. Krsna sees Radhika across the way, and he becomes very shy. They are like sweet little dollies that are constantly losing their minds over each other. How sweet is that? And they need us to take care of them. Radhika can't even dress herself when she is just about to meet with Krsna. She's trembling and sweaty, hypervenhilating out over some look Krsna gave her earlier that day when he passed by playing his flute. And they sort of flop around like the dolls, weakened with melting hearts. I just think Krsna gave me those dolls to show me something, it was all I had at the time. -
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Re: The reason I ask...
Thu, February 1, 2007 - 3:51 AMDear Jill,
Hare Krsna! I think our past experiences do influence our mood in deity worship. I completely see how your childhood with Ragedy Ann dolls gives you a warm feeling, and similar sentiments in Krsna Consciousness...
I for one, played with deities during my childhood, instead of toys... I would carry Them around in my pocket, take Them to school with me, make up stories about Them...everything a kid would do with a toy...but with deities of demigods (I was raised Hindu)...And yes, I would sometimes enthusiastically bath Them until the polish came off, and then I'd be very upset! My parents would find deities in my laundry...esp after they hit the washing machine....The end result is I have a deep attraction to deities, sometimes even more than my attraction to Krsna Consciousness itself. I feel like They are my friends who can never hurt me, my childhood heros...sound familiar?
I believe Lord Krsna & Srimati Radharani's pastimes are very sweet, and can appear similar to those of children. Although similar, one is material/mundane (but still sweet), and the other is transcendental and eternal...and ever more new... I think so long as you don't dress your deities like Ragedy Ann dolls, but worship Them with the same love, warmth, and sense of protection you did when you were a child, I think you will make advancement in deity worship (I'm no expert, but it's my stupid worthless opinion!)...basically worship your deities from a real place in your heart, and They will take clean out the junk, and take over!
Lord Chaitanya mentioned to his mother when He took sanyasa..."Replace all your lost relationships with Lord Krsna, and you will attain perfection in this life..." So if you miss your Ragedy Ann dolls, worship Krsna...if you miss a child, a lover, a parent, worship Krsna...you see how any deficit/loss can lead you to the Lord's lotus feet. He will never leave you, disappoint you or hurt you...
Hope this helps. If I came off strange or offensive, I apologize...
Hare Krsna!
SriRKd -
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Re: The reason I ask...
Thu, February 1, 2007 - 7:37 AMsriRKd that was an awesome response. i couldnt have said it better myself ;)
my obeisances. -
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Re: The reason I ask...
Thu, February 1, 2007 - 4:33 PMSounds like good advice to me! and somewhat what i expected. Although bhakti is new to me, I know my heart must be in it on some level. I am currently praying for real dieties of Radha and Krsna in their eternal forms, which I plan to dress in pretty clothing, mostly traditional. My neighbor goes to India every year, and he has offered to bring me back some things. I don't worship Ragedy Ann and Andy but I still love them and have a small collection of old stuff that I am saving for my children. used to dress like Little House on the Prairie myself, back when I was travelling.
In a way I feel kind of sentimental about Radha and Krsna, so I am hoping I am doing the right thing, trying to worship dieties. Perhaps I will develop some faith in their eternal forms in this way.
Haribol!
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